Sunday, March 17, 2013

Puppets Have Tea.

Initially, Sam was supposed to think about Sherlock Holmes. Then, I realized, that didn't really fit what we know about Sam. It took a bit of rewriting once I got back from the parade, but I think the Monk (and cute blonde) reference feels more Sam. This bit also helps bring Peter back into Sam's story as opposed to just being the strange man in Lucy's apartment. Also: Puppets have tea.

Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day, and remember, I'll be in Boston this weekend. Table of contents here. This is a short section to make up for yesterday's six page marathon.

* * *

The puppets and I had tea. That’s the best way I can explain what happened when I came home lugging the trunk behind me. My parents were out for the day, and I sat down to get a drink of something before I prepped for the bowling alley. I pulled the puppets out from their box and set them at the table to get a sense of them.

“Why does Lucy want to give Rusty these dirty old puppets?”

That was a question on par with where was he getting all of his money. I pondered this as I poured myself iced tea. I hated the warm stuff; it took too long to get ready to drink. I was the sort of kid who’d eat the damned marshmallow. As I drank it down, I felt like I was missing the piece of a puzzle.

I felt lost and confused. Sort of like when the cute blonde on Monk is standing around in the last scene waiting to find out what happened. Only, I didn’t have any neurotic, quirky person to tell me what was going on. I also didn’t look good in miniskirts—which is a story for another time.

I let the problem wash away in the shower. I always had my own scent free shampoo because my mom used something that made her hair smell. My dad never seemed to care what he used, especially as he’s practically bald. I had tried to just use the stuff the family used, until Kenny asked me if I would like some nice white wine instead of a beer. I always find it odd the things Kenny will consider a strike against manliness.

Cross dressing? “The greatest comedians in the world cross dress, cross dressing is manly,” He had said. Using scented hand sanitizer? An affront to all that is manly. I could only imagine what he’d say if he saw the puppet tea time going on in the kitchen. Actually, I couldn’t imagine. He was creative with his swear words.

I heard my cellphone ring, but I didn’t like talking on it in the shower, so I let it ring. And ring. Then it finally clicked over. While I was dressing for work, I checked the phone and saw that I’d missed a call from Peter. I turned on the speaker and played the message.

“Hey, it’s Peter. Remember when I said not to say anything controversial? Have you read what you said? That’s the opposite of controversial; oh, sure. It’s fine here in California. But, a lot of our bank’s head honchos answer to folks in fly over country. I’m going to try and smooth things over. But, look, when you speak tomorrow night, I want you to be as noncontroversial as Ms. U.S.A., got it?”

I wonder if he remembered Carrie Prejean. When I asked Kenny he nodded solemnly. Then again, I’m pretty sure Kenny remembers every Ms. California since the late 90s.

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