Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Official Supreme Court Predictions

Ok. My official prediction. In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court finds in favor of Predator in Alien v Predator. Kennedy writes for the majority, as always, noting that "They've got lasers and space ships. Game, set and match." Concurring, in full, Thomas writes that "We cannot overlook the technological superiority and ranged combat power of the Predator."

Ginsburg dissents, citing Aliens "superior numbers and acid blood."  Scalia concurs in part, but dissents in part, noting that "It would not be a total curb stomp. Some of those ugly mother f****** are going down."

No decision will be reached in Batman v Superman, with it dismissed for lack of standing. Roberts, writing for the court, notes: "This shit'll never happen. Now, Lex Luthor v Joker, that is a ripe issue for the court." Sotomayor, in addition, noted that "If an evil doppelganger Batman or Superman were to challenge his good opposite, we would be able to revisit the case. However, this would not be a precedent setting case, as the evil nature of the alternate universe Batman or Superman would, necessarily, differentiate them from their good counterpart."

Also, on the legal question, "Who you gonna call?", the Court will remand the decision to New York, with Kagan noting while reading the decision that "Cats and dogs living together is a matter for local state regulations." On the second legal issue, in a per curiam decision, the Court finds that the answer is "Yes" to the question: "Are you a god?"



Inspired by Tapper's #otherSCOTUSpredictions Twitter hash tag.

1 comment:

  1. In a late entry to the docket, in a 6-3 decision, with Scalia writing for the majority, it is determined that what is best in life is "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

    Kagan, Sotomayor and Ginsburg dissent.


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